I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
