yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
