I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
