it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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