Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
