We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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