i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
