he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
