we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
