I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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