Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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