Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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