DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
