Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
