Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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