you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
