He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
