I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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