im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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