I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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