apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
