quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
