i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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