I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize