But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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