Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
