i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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