therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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