Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
