How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
