I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
