Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
