Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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