oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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