hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
