I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The beer is more important than you right now.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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