You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
