my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
