Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
