yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Is it penis luge time yet?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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