Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
