She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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