Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
