I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You ate ashes out of my bong
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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