If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
