just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
