Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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