Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
