I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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