HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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